Sunday, May 13, 2012

A letter to my Mom

Dear Mom,
  I never know how to start a letter but it just seems like "Hi, how are you?" doesn't work here. I will start by telling you how wonderful the Poo is doing in school. She loves to go everyday and hates to be late! She got accepted into the gifted and talented program for next year. She is so excited because they get to do projects and crafts. She can hardly wait!
We had to replace the pool this year. The old one tore down the seam when we were moving it. I found a really good deal on it though so it didn't cost too much. I have been saving to get the Poo a swing set for her birthday this year. She loves to swing more than just about anything. Nothing new there, huh!
The other day she was telling me about the first time she remembered it snowing here and you and her played snowball fight and made Dr.Pepper slushies with the fresh snow in your favorite coffee cup.  I had to fight back tears when she told me she is starting to forget what you look like. The picture in her mind is fading but she remembers you. She still has a lot of memories of things you did together.
Some friends of ours moved to New York and I was showing her where it was on a map so she could see how far away it is. Poo asked if maps went all the to China and I told her they did and I could show her China if she wanted. She said she wanted to see a map of Heaven so she could know where you are now.
I told her it must be a really great place because everyone that goes to make a map decides to stay there and tried not to let her see me cry.
I miss you everyday but more today. I find myself still trying to pick up the phone to call you. I am glad I was able to say all the things I wanted to before you left but at the same time I still want to tell you I love you everyday! Things are hard right now but life is good. I smile at my family everyday and and grateful for all we have. I pray every night that you can see Poo growing up and are watching over her. I pray she will remember you always with the same love she has now.I pray you found Bessie May when she left me to be with you and you both have a belly full of Hershey's kisses.
Munchie is doing well in college. She has grown up to be a really good person. My Evil Sister is doing well too. She will graduate next year and I tell her often how proud you would be of her. I think she really needs to hear it. I try to talk to them at  least once a week and sometimes Munchie comes and spends the weekend with us. Poo really enjoys when she does. They play games together and color a lot.
I guess on this Mother's Day I just really wanted to share with you that as hard as it is without you here, and as much as I miss you all the time, we are doing OK. I smile when I remember you more and cry less. I think of things we did together and I am happy more than sad. I still think of you everyday and I am sure I always will. I am grateful for the person you were and grateful you made me the person I am. You taught me not to long for what I don't have but to be grateful for what I do have and that is a wonderful blessing. You taught me to be strong enough to handle whatever comes my way but to be gentle enough to be kind to others no matter how bad I feel. You taught me that your children come first and if you always feel that way you never have to make a difficult decision to get them what they need. You just do it and go on, no matter what you do without. I am proud to be your child. I am proud you are my mom. I do not know if Heaven has Wifi but even if it doesn't I am sure you will get this. I just wanted to say thank you and I love you.

Your sometimes imperfect but steadily improving daughter.

1 comment:

Lenore Webb said...

Why do you make me cry like this. I know you miss your mom ever so much. I am glad that Emma still remembers her. Denea said just the other day she would give anything to have one memory of Grandma Grace. I know your mom watches over all of y'all there....with those beautiful blue eyes of hers.