This is my dear sweet niece. She is learning to drive and will be street legal in just a few short months. EVERYONE RUN!!! Just kidding, she is doing ok. I am very proud of her. It seems not to long ago she was driving her little push car all over the front yard. Where does all this time go? I miss the cute little smile she gave me when she said "Memaaaawwww" (yes that is what she use to call me) like I was pulling her chain and she new it. We use to do so many things together. Now she is almost grown. Trying to decide which college and what major takes up a good deal of her time.So many changes lately. My mom getting ill. 2 good friends have had babies in the last 3 days, my stepson turning me into a grandmother at 32. So much good and bad intermingled through life. I am still amazed everyday and continuously more thankful. As we all should be......

The deed is done

Well, its done. I wasn't sure I could do it but I managed. Last night I told my sister our mother has cancer and she has to start chemo next week. I have been sick about it for days. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to say. She took it about like I had thought she would, as most people would. She was crushed and shocked.
It is a life changing event for everyone involved. My mom is going to have to move in with us while she goes through chemo and radiation for the next several months. I will have to drive her to the treatment center 5 days a week and then go to her house to care for her animals every day. I am hoping my employer will be willing to work with me so that I can keep my job. I really can not afford to lose the insurance on my daughter and myself. Also, I am trying to figure out how we can spend more money on gas and groceries while bringing in less money due to me not working.
What worries me the most is that I will not be able to physically hold up to the task. Some of you know that I have active Lyme disease. It has wrecked my body. I have fought very hard over the last year to regain strength and stamina, but I am not where I should be. What if I get sick? What if I just can not hold up to it? How do I explain to a 3 year old about her grandmother's illness? She will be seeing my mom everyday as she goes through treatment. If anyone has any ideas please feel free to share.
There are a thousand what if's going through me right now. All I know is we will make it work somehow just because we have to. Thanks for listening. Love ya

Dealing with change

Well, today is a new day and there are a lot of changes to come in the next week or two. A transition time, so to speak. There is so much to do and it is almost too overwhelming. Maybe being so busy will help to keep us focused.
I am the type of person who does not like change. I like to have a routine. I am not very spontaneous, I am a planner. So how does a person like me deal with a major change that I have no control over? What do I do with all the changes that this will likely cause? How do I handle what I can not plan for? I GET DRUNK ! Just kidding, I am not a drinker either.
I suppose at this point I just hunker down, roll up my sleeves and pray that what I do is the right thing to do. I do not know what is the right thing so I am just hoping that the decisions made are the best for the situation at hand. Mostly I just don't like the uncertainty. Hopefully it will all be for the best and refocus what is truly important in life.
I do know that at least David is willing to help me clean up the house for a change. Hahahaha. That will be nice. I get to rearrange which is always fun for me. Maybe he will even let me paint the bedroom and living room. I have been wanting to do that for a while. We will see how it turns out. Maybe I can post before and after pictures if he agrees to the paint:) Love ya