Fun Run

Well today was the Poo's first school activity. She had a fun run today. She has been just so excited for a whole week waiting for this afternoon. We got there early and got registered and the teacher doing name tags already new her name! She had a wonderful time running with her friends and is so very very proud of her ribbon.

She ran the whole way without walking. She was nowhere near first but she wasn't last either. I am just the most proud mommy in the world right now! She ran her little heart out and had a great time :)

Mothers Day

Let me start off by saying happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there. This Mothers Day is unique for me since it is the first one I will be spending without my mom. Oh how I miss her every day, but today I can't help but miss her a little more. What I wouldn't give to be able to hug her again.
Here is a picture of us when we were getting along. We did not always get along so well but we always loved each other so much. I think that love is what allowed us to get under each others skin and irritate the other so easily. She could get madder at me than anyone else in the world when I did something she was sure I shouldn't do. Even as I became an adult that never changed. She always calmed down and came around eventually. Now do not for a second think it was one sided. She could aggravate me to no end but we always came to terms and accepted each other for what we were. Stubborn, pig headed, forgetful, and most of all, family.
I never understood how much my mom loved me until I had my daughter. I told my mom shortly after the Poo was born that I forgave her for all those times she wouldn't let me go have fun because she thought it was " just too dangerous", even though I assured her nothing would happen and I would be fine. We had a good laugh over it and talked a lot about how your outlook on the world changes when you become a parent. Sidewalks for instance seem perfectly safe until you have your first child. Then they appear to be a pit of death to a toddler learning to walk or a 3 or 4 year old growing into their feet and running in flip flops. Recliners seem perfectly safe until you have a little one. Those things are awful once your child realized they can climb up onto one and try to fly face first into the ground, or gets a foot under it as someone is getting up and gets a toe smashed.
I know why she saw the world the way she did and how hard it was for her to give us some independence to grow into the people my sister and I became. I understand why she stayed in the car outside of wherever we were , such as a concert or the skating rink, instead of going home and coming back to get us. We thought she wanted to spy on us when we were younger. Now I can see she wanted us to have independence and feel free to have fun, but be close by if we needed her.
I am glad we got to share these things before she died because if it is possible we were even closer in the last few years than we were before. She always told me she hoped to live long enough to see me have a child. She never thought I would. I was 29 when my daughter blessed me with her arrival and the day she was born my mom said if she died that day everything she had wanted in life was fulfilled. My sister and I both had a child to love and help grow, we were stable and happy, and we had a good relationship with each other. It was very important to my mom that my sister and I be close and talk to each other often. She wanted us to have a good relationship and each of us know that the other would be there for them no matter what. We do have that and it is truly a blessing. My daughter remembers my mom and misses her. She talks about her often and tells me stories about things they did together. I hope she is able to keep some of those memories as she grows up and always be able to feel inside how much my mom loved her.
My niece was already almost 17 when my mom passed away so she has memories to keep with her. I was so touched when she wore the patent leather converse tennis shoes my mom had gotten for her to the prom. She said she wanted her grandmother with her on that special day and it felt like she was able to take her to prom when she wore those shoes. How can you not be proud of a young woman like that.
I am going to add a perfect pairing in to the end of this post just because I believe it fits so well with the emotions I feel today. 1 John 4:18


18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Growing up I was never afraid of my mother. My fear was not of punishment but of disappointing her. I always wanted her to be proud of me and proud of the job she had done raising me. Her love was pure and perfect and completely unconditional. I thank the Lord everyday that I was able to have her in my life for as long as I did and for giving me such a wonderful family, be it blood family or chosen family. I have been blessed with a loving family and we all miss her so much. On this day I choose not to be filled with the pain of loss but to rejoice in her love that was given so freely for so many years and fill my heart with the blessings I see everyday. My family, my child, and the people of this earth that do things because they are the right thing to do, not because they are easy. Thank you Momma for teaching me to appreciate what I have and not to dwell on the negative. Thank you for teaching me that love is the greatest gift we have and we should share it with others. Thank you for being you. Thank you Lord for allowing me to be blessed with her in my life and hug her for me on this day created to celebrate her love and giving nature.

Wordless Wednesday

All I can think of when I see this picture is just pure BLISS. Thanks to Never Growing Old for the WW linky!

Senior Pictures

Well, this weekend we managed to go get Munchie's pictures taken at the local park. We took about 500 so she had plenty to choose from. There were also Poo, Papi and landscape pictures in there also but she still had plenty. She was very happy with the way they turned out and is very excited about being able to get her graduation invitations out to family and friends. She was having trouble deciding which one to use so she put 10 up on Facebook for voting. After getting so many different responses she went back and decided to give each person the photo they voted on so everyone would have their personal favorite. I thought that was very diplomatic and showed a lot of consideration on her part. I sure am proud of the woman she has grown up to be. Even though I am only her aunt I am just as proud as any momma could be! Here are some of the wonderful pictures we took that didn't make the top 10 but we both loved. All in all we just had a wonderful family day in the park together. The Poo got to play for several hours so she was quite happy and it was just a beautiful day. So sunny with a light breeze, just a perfect day all around.We were lucky enough to get some very good pictures and all get to spend time together. We even went for a little mini hike in the dried up creek bed where we got some of the best pictures of the day.She is making her own graduation invitations as she didn't really like the ones the school had to offer. I can hardly wait to see the finished graduation invitations. I bet she will do a wonderful job on them. She is very artistic and has good vision for the finished product. I am just so excited!!

Go fly a kite!

The Poo and I have been having lots and lots of fun these days. The weather has been nice and sunny but not too hot so we have really been pushing to get our outside time. She loves to be outdoors even more than I do, and thats near impossible. We don't always have a reason to go outside, so sometimes we just have to make up one. One of our favorite reasons to come up with is kite flying. We both enjoy it very much and you can include as many or as few people as you like.

We think the more the merrier but sometimes it is just the two of us. This last week we were able to get Munchie, Papi and Lynette to join us in our kite flying follies. This week we have purchased extra kites to share with Lynette's grandbabes. The Poo is really looking forward to getting to go fly kites with them and spend time outdoors with friends. She always enjoys when they come for a visit and doesn't even mind sharing her toys with them. It was her idea to go buy them each a kite, and I thought it was very sweet and thoughtful of her. I am a really proud Momma. She is turning out to be a great young lady.

Anyway, I hope to have more kite flying photos to share with you later but these are from last week. She handles the kite very well and sure does enjoy it! I think kites are fun for the child in everyone! She has even convinced Sissy (aka College Girl)to go flying with us soon. I will be sure to get plenty of pictures of that!

Saturday was a good day!

Munchie got to spend the weekend with us again, so we all got up early and went to see Granny M. Guess what she was doing, uh huh, making WAFFLES !!! Yay! The morning was cold and windy but it sure was nice to have hot waffles, home made jellies, bacon and sausage. We ate like little piggies and loved it. The Poo decided she wanted to stay and play so I took the opportunity to fuel my spring fever.

The sun had come out and it was another beautiful day. I came home, started the tiller and went to town. The before and after in the garden is sure great to see! Then Papi got home from work and decided he would take over tilling so Munchie and I repaired my home made ghetto compost tumbler. Ugly....yes, but it works very well. We got it all put back together and then I got the mower running and used the bagger to fill my tumbler with dry grass and leaves. Add water and there you go. We are officially up and running for spring. Compost on the way and first till on the garden done!
If that wasn't enough we then got to clean up a bit and go to a bar-b-que at our friends/family's house. The first one of the year but only one of many to come I hope. We got to spend the evening with wonderful company, great food and good times. We started watching a movie after dark. We watched Avatar for a bit but the Poo was tuckered out and started trying to fall asleep so we decided to head home and put our girl to bed. Everyone was in bed early for a change. It was just a great day! Thanks to our dear friends Lynette and Dear Hubby for the great food and even better company!

Food Porn Anyone?

As many of you know, I cook a lot. All the time it seems. I am always messing with recipes and making changes, adding flavors and changing textures. With the cold we have had I have been doing a LOT of baking. So much so that we have had plenty to share with friends.


During the last cold snap we were stuck at our house for 4 days. No fun at all. My dear friend Lynette was unable to share our cinnamon bread pudding, strawberry scones and pineapple upside down cake. So this time I decided to bake a day in advance. The bad weather is due tomorrow so today I have baked 3 delicious cheesecakes. We have almond amaretto, chocolate kahlua, and parrot bay coconut!



Did you notice a theme? Yes, they are all alcohol cheesecakes! I made them with Lynette's home made amaretto and kaluha and my own rum. What could be better to snuggle with on a cold wintry day? Is there anything more comforting that delicious food made with love from friends? No, I don't think so either. We often do shared meals where we all prepare what we have and combine it with what our friends have. It is a great way to use a little bit of groceries and have a feast for all. For anyone who may want it, the recipe for the basic cheesecake is as follows:
3 blocks cream cheese
2 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
2 T. lemon juice
1 t. vanilla extract
Mix all ingredients, pour into graham cracker crust and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour to 1 hour 15 minutes. Cool at least 4 hours before serving.

For the extras I added :
3 T. cocoa
1/2 c. kaluha for the chocolate kaluha cheesecake

2 t. almond extract
1/2 c. amaretto
sliced almonds on top for the almond amaretto




1 cup shredded coconut soaked in 1/2 cup parrot bay coconut rum for 30 minutes for the coconut cheesecake

Hope everyone enjoys!

Snow Day

Well, after 75 degrees on Saturday we reached a high of 23 degrees here today! Woohoo! I know its colder other places but this just doesn't happen here. We have what looks like snow but upon closer inspection is really a sleet, ice and snow mix. Very crunchy and not fun to play in at all. I have to say when I got up this morning I very excitedly went to the door because I had heard it start last night. I am from a more northern place in Texas so I wanted to build a snowman and make snow angels. Unfortunately the Poo still has a nasty cough and I could not drag her out on 25 mile per hour winds to play(much to her dismay).
So instead we decided to have a snow day. What is a snow day you ask? Well, I will tell you. For us, we decided silly string would be great fun.



We even attempted to ambush the Papa when he came home from work but our string wouldn't spray. The can I left attached to the front door for him miraculously worked great. Talk about karma!
Our poor dogs could not find a good place to hide as we chased each other with silly string through the house. Neither of us were aiming at them but you could not have convinced them of that fact. Also, since our house is old and drafty(like the windows are wide open drafty) we decided to bake to keep the house warmer. The Poo loves to mix and add ingredients so that was lots of fun for her. We even put together a princess puzzle and wore our princess power rings.
Loads of fun for a little princess. We managed to make a large bread pudding with dulce de leche to put on top, a cinnamon swirl bread, chocolate chip cookies, and baked spaghetti with garlic bread.
Not a bad day at all. She had a good time and I got some cleaning done.
Most importantly we stayed WARM!!

Well, how is everyone? We are slowly catching up with ourselves. The poo has been so sick and pitiful. She informs us regularly she needs a soft tissue because she has snot and her nose hurts. Very sad indeed!
Update on Mom is they have stopped chemo and are going to radiate her spine in an attempt to relieve some pain. They are planning on trying a different chemo treatment after radiation but she has lost so much weight she is not sure she can hold up to it. She is now below 100 pounds and still having difficulty eating.She has not given up hope but she has begun to be more realistic about her prognosis.
It has been very difficult to come to grips with this for all of us. If anyone has any suggestions on how to explain what is happening to the poo without scaring her, please let me know.
On a lighter note, my Dr.appt went well. No surgery required at this time and I now have new meds to stop the growth of the cyst. They believe it is a fibroid cyst versus the MASS term they have been using. Much relief there. I have to go back in six months to make sure it is not actively growing anymore and if all is well I get to keep my insides. Yeah!
Income tax has arrived also. We are getting to pay off some of the last of poo's surgery bills and hopefully a few more bills. The Pappa surprised me with an early valentine's present. Hint- I am blogging on it now from the bed. Good guess! It IS a laptop. My very first one and it is so lovely. The poo absolutely loves the Dora game that came pre loaded on it. In return I have paid off all his no insurance surcharges and we are now broke again:) It has been a relief to get bills out of the way so maybe we won't always be struggling to play catch up. 2 or 3 more years of this and we will have all past due bills(mostly medical) paid off.
We are hoping to get the roof worked on this spring when it warms a bit and then we can start fixing the back room and hopefully make it usable again. It would be good to have the extra room. The house is pretty small and we seem to have accumulated a lot of junk to fill it with. Well that is all I know right now. Love ya......

This is my dear sweet niece. She is learning to drive and will be street legal in just a few short months. EVERYONE RUN!!! Just kidding, she is doing ok. I am very proud of her. It seems not to long ago she was driving her little push car all over the front yard. Where does all this time go? I miss the cute little smile she gave me when she said "Memaaaawwww" (yes that is what she use to call me) like I was pulling her chain and she new it. We use to do so many things together. Now she is almost grown. Trying to decide which college and what major takes up a good deal of her time.So many changes lately. My mom getting ill. 2 good friends have had babies in the last 3 days, my stepson turning me into a grandmother at 32. So much good and bad intermingled through life. I am still amazed everyday and continuously more thankful. As we all should be......

Knowledge is power

Well, my mother starts chemo tomorrow. We will be going to Abilene at the butt crack of dawn. I am not sure if they are going to put the port in tomorrow or at a later date. There is so much we still do not know about.
On the bright side, my aunt came in today from Katy. My mom seems very happy to be getting to spend some time with her before this event. My aunt has said she will come down for every set of chemo and go home while I am taking her to radiation. She wants to try to get her a hotel room for the 3 day chemo rounds so my mother doesn't have to travel every day during the chemo. That will be a wonderful help to all of us. I can take the driving but I am not sure my mom could hold up.
We had a wonderful family dinner tonight. My aunt adores Poo and Poo even smiled at her a few times but still no talking:) Stephanie and Courtney joined us and a good time was had by all. For a little while we were just a family happy to be in each others company. Papa did not even seem to mind being the only man in the estrogen ocean that is my family. He lived through a dinner with six women and seems to even enjoy himself.
I am grateful....hopeful...scared....tired....mostly grateful for the love of family.
Family born to and family chosen, they are what everything is about. For chosen family who read this WE LOVE YOU and thank you for your help, your kindness and your prayers.

The deed is done

Well, its done. I wasn't sure I could do it but I managed. Last night I told my sister our mother has cancer and she has to start chemo next week. I have been sick about it for days. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to say. She took it about like I had thought she would, as most people would. She was crushed and shocked.
It is a life changing event for everyone involved. My mom is going to have to move in with us while she goes through chemo and radiation for the next several months. I will have to drive her to the treatment center 5 days a week and then go to her house to care for her animals every day. I am hoping my employer will be willing to work with me so that I can keep my job. I really can not afford to lose the insurance on my daughter and myself. Also, I am trying to figure out how we can spend more money on gas and groceries while bringing in less money due to me not working.
What worries me the most is that I will not be able to physically hold up to the task. Some of you know that I have active Lyme disease. It has wrecked my body. I have fought very hard over the last year to regain strength and stamina, but I am not where I should be. What if I get sick? What if I just can not hold up to it? How do I explain to a 3 year old about her grandmother's illness? She will be seeing my mom everyday as she goes through treatment. If anyone has any ideas please feel free to share.
There are a thousand what if's going through me right now. All I know is we will make it work somehow just because we have to. Thanks for listening. Love ya

Dealing with change

Well, today is a new day and there are a lot of changes to come in the next week or two. A transition time, so to speak. There is so much to do and it is almost too overwhelming. Maybe being so busy will help to keep us focused.
I am the type of person who does not like change. I like to have a routine. I am not very spontaneous, I am a planner. So how does a person like me deal with a major change that I have no control over? What do I do with all the changes that this will likely cause? How do I handle what I can not plan for? I GET DRUNK ! Just kidding, I am not a drinker either.
I suppose at this point I just hunker down, roll up my sleeves and pray that what I do is the right thing to do. I do not know what is the right thing so I am just hoping that the decisions made are the best for the situation at hand. Mostly I just don't like the uncertainty. Hopefully it will all be for the best and refocus what is truly important in life.
I do know that at least David is willing to help me clean up the house for a change. Hahahaha. That will be nice. I get to rearrange which is always fun for me. Maybe he will even let me paint the bedroom and living room. I have been wanting to do that for a while. We will see how it turns out. Maybe I can post before and after pictures if he agrees to the paint:) Love ya