Well, how is everyone? We are slowly catching up with ourselves. The poo has been so sick and pitiful. She informs us regularly she needs a soft tissue because she has snot and her nose hurts. Very sad indeed!
Update on Mom is they have stopped chemo and are going to radiate her spine in an attempt to relieve some pain. They are planning on trying a different chemo treatment after radiation but she has lost so much weight she is not sure she can hold up to it. She is now below 100 pounds and still having difficulty eating.She has not given up hope but she has begun to be more realistic about her prognosis.
It has been very difficult to come to grips with this for all of us. If anyone has any suggestions on how to explain what is happening to the poo without scaring her, please let me know.
On a lighter note, my Dr.appt went well. No surgery required at this time and I now have new meds to stop the growth of the cyst. They believe it is a fibroid cyst versus the MASS term they have been using. Much relief there. I have to go back in six months to make sure it is not actively growing anymore and if all is well I get to keep my insides. Yeah!
Income tax has arrived also. We are getting to pay off some of the last of poo's surgery bills and hopefully a few more bills. The Pappa surprised me with an early valentine's present. Hint- I am blogging on it now from the bed. Good guess! It IS a laptop. My very first one and it is so lovely. The poo absolutely loves the Dora game that came pre loaded on it. In return I have paid off all his no insurance surcharges and we are now broke again:) It has been a relief to get bills out of the way so maybe we won't always be struggling to play catch up. 2 or 3 more years of this and we will have all past due bills(mostly medical) paid off.
We are hoping to get the roof worked on this spring when it warms a bit and then we can start fixing the back room and hopefully make it usable again. It would be good to have the extra room. The house is pretty small and we seem to have accumulated a lot of junk to fill it with. Well that is all I know right now. Love ya......

Knowledge is power

Well, my mother starts chemo tomorrow. We will be going to Abilene at the butt crack of dawn. I am not sure if they are going to put the port in tomorrow or at a later date. There is so much we still do not know about.
On the bright side, my aunt came in today from Katy. My mom seems very happy to be getting to spend some time with her before this event. My aunt has said she will come down for every set of chemo and go home while I am taking her to radiation. She wants to try to get her a hotel room for the 3 day chemo rounds so my mother doesn't have to travel every day during the chemo. That will be a wonderful help to all of us. I can take the driving but I am not sure my mom could hold up.
We had a wonderful family dinner tonight. My aunt adores Poo and Poo even smiled at her a few times but still no talking:) Stephanie and Courtney joined us and a good time was had by all. For a little while we were just a family happy to be in each others company. Papa did not even seem to mind being the only man in the estrogen ocean that is my family. He lived through a dinner with six women and seems to even enjoy himself.
I am grateful....hopeful...scared....tired....mostly grateful for the love of family.
Family born to and family chosen, they are what everything is about. For chosen family who read this WE LOVE YOU and thank you for your help, your kindness and your prayers.

The deed is done

Well, its done. I wasn't sure I could do it but I managed. Last night I told my sister our mother has cancer and she has to start chemo next week. I have been sick about it for days. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to say. She took it about like I had thought she would, as most people would. She was crushed and shocked.
It is a life changing event for everyone involved. My mom is going to have to move in with us while she goes through chemo and radiation for the next several months. I will have to drive her to the treatment center 5 days a week and then go to her house to care for her animals every day. I am hoping my employer will be willing to work with me so that I can keep my job. I really can not afford to lose the insurance on my daughter and myself. Also, I am trying to figure out how we can spend more money on gas and groceries while bringing in less money due to me not working.
What worries me the most is that I will not be able to physically hold up to the task. Some of you know that I have active Lyme disease. It has wrecked my body. I have fought very hard over the last year to regain strength and stamina, but I am not where I should be. What if I get sick? What if I just can not hold up to it? How do I explain to a 3 year old about her grandmother's illness? She will be seeing my mom everyday as she goes through treatment. If anyone has any ideas please feel free to share.
There are a thousand what if's going through me right now. All I know is we will make it work somehow just because we have to. Thanks for listening. Love ya